


To Have Your Cake...

by Worthfull1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blow Jobs, Shameless Smut, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3881512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worthfull1/pseuds/Worthfull1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally posted on FFnet for Remus' birthday. WARNING: LANGUAGE AND SMUT!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Have Your Cake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SableUnstable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SableUnstable/gifts).



> Author's Note: Happy Birthday Remus Lupin! A gift for SableUnstable. AU, post-war, Teddy (as much as I love him) does not exist. Enjoy...!
> 
> Thanks, Worthfull1
> 
> P.S. I own nothing, anything recognizable belongs to the lovely Ms. Rowling. I also don't own Warren Zevon's 'Werewolves Of London' or Humble Pie's 'Smokin''.

_"Awoooo! Werewolves of London... Awoooo! - "_ Hermione sang along to the music, spinning around and laughing at herself as the mixing bowl she was holding onto almost flew out of her hands.

It was Remus' birthday today, and she was hell-bent on making him a cake. The man was stubborn about not celebrating, though, so she'd had to wait until he went to work to start baking. After seeing him through the floo, she'd headed to the kitchen to dig out the recipes Molly had written out for her, grabbed her bag and gone shopping. Picking up everything she would need for a three layered chocolate cake, Hermione went back to Grimmauld and got to work.

In truth, Hermione didn't much like cooking, and she wasn't terribly good at it, but if she had lots of time and a carefully worded recipe, it could be done. It helped, too, that for every ounce of stubbornness and reticence Remus possessed, Hermione matched it with determination. It was going to be his fortieth, after all! They had to do something!

Bending over to check on the cake, she didn't hear Sirius enter the room, but she _did_ feel his hands on her waist, spinning her around and taking her in his arms, leading her in a dance that was way too formal for the Warren Zevon she had playing.

"Sirius!" she cried, slapping his chest playfully. "I'm working here!"

"Yes, I can see that," he said teasingly. "What is it about cooking that makes you want to raid my record collection for music?"

She laughed, the sound going right through him. "I don't know - it just works!" Hermione turned around and bent over again, peering into the oven and unwittingly giving Sirius a rather enticing view of her backside. He growled softly, but the music was loud enough to drown the sound.

Hermione had grown into quite the beautiful woman in the years after the war. It was difficult sometimes for Sirius to reconcile the sure-footed, confident and frankly sexy young woman with the skinny, bushy-haired little witch he'd met all those years ago. And not just physically, either. Hermione had grown into her brain as well. She would always remain opinionated, but now she was more tolerant of differing ideas, and more patient in explaining her side of the issue. Where she had once been slightly brash and in-your-face, she was now relaxed, but firm, while still willing to let you cling to your moronic theory as long as you didn't interfere with her.

She and Ron dated for about a year before realizing that they were much better off as friends, but that hadn't stopped them from taking each other's virginity. In a weird way, it made sense to them to go all the way the one time, but they never spoke of it again. Just one more thing to be shared with each other and no-one else. Like battling mountain trolls and spiriting fugitives away on hippogriffs - it was one more thing that would never have felt any more right with anyone else in the world and neither regretted it.

That was the end, though, and she and Ron had stood in front of Molly the next day and gently broken the news to her that Hermione would never become Mrs. Ronald Weasley. Molly had shed a tear or two, but in the end, she pulled Hermione into a bone-crushing hug and declared that she didn't need the name to be family and that she would always have a place at the Burrow. Hermione thanked Molly, but informed her that she was planning on taking up Sirius' offer to move into Grimmauld with him, Remus and Harry.

On the day she moved in, however, Sirius came to the conclusion that asking her to live with them may not have been the best idea he'd ever had. All had gone well until he and Remus had begun helping her stock her bookshelves. It was a hot summer's day and Hermione had worn a small white t-shirt and denim shorts. Classic work clothes. Except that when she reached up to place a book on the top shelf, her shirt rode up several inches, revealing creamy skin and a flat stomach. Sirius stepped in and filled the top shelves for her, but that hadn't solved the problem.

While he was busy on the top shelves, Hermione had apparently decided to start at the bottom, and had promptly dropped to her hands and knees, giving both men the loveliest view either had seen in longer than they cared to admit. Sirius and Remus had known each other long enough to know that, in that instant, they both wanted her. It was a sobering thought, seeing as they hadn't invited her to move in with them with the purpose of seducing her, the fact that they both were genuinely fond of the witch, and both would rather have given Severus Snape a massage than insult or humiliate her in any way, but neither could deny the attraction.

It only got worse the longer she lived there, too. Attraction turned into affection, want into need, and the desire to have her pinned beneath one of them or possibly sandwiched between both was beginning to take it's toll on the two wizards. Luckily (or maybe _unluckily_ ), Harry had gotten his own place not long after Hermione moved in, saying he wanted to try things on his own for a while, so Sirius and Remus were left to deal with the problem by themselves - the only upside being that they didn't have to explain longing looks and lust-filled glances to James' son. Of course, that also meant that his presence was not there to unconsciously keep the canines in check.

The moons had gotten worse, too. Remus was quite careful about taking his Wolfsbane (lovingly made by the witch in question), but even with that, Moony was restless. It was taking more and more out of Padfoot each month to keep him calm and prevent him from taking his excess energy out on Remus. The werewolf would pace and howl in the basement of Grimmauld Place, testing the wards and silencing charms the men had set up permanently.

They never spoke about it the morning after. They didn't need to. Sirius was restless, too and no matter how many times he went out and found something soft and easy to distract himself with for a while, the time always came when he had to go home. Home to Hermione. It wasn't a bad thought, and if he had to share her with Remus to make his fantasies happen, then he would. They'd never shared a woman before, but life was short, so what the hell? Anyway, he'd noticed her giving both him and Remus the once-over on numerous occasions, and he'd even caught the scent of aroused woman one night when he'd gotten back after a motorcycle ride. Apparently, the little witch liked leather.

Before his thoughts could once again stray into dangerous territory, Sirius made his escape. "I'm going for a ride, love," he said, watching Hermione stick a toothpick in her cake to check done-ness.

"Alright," she answered, glancing back at him. "You will be home for cake, won't you?"

"Home-made frosting?" he asked. She nodded. "I suppose," he sighed exaggeratingly, making her giggle. Sending her a wink and throwing on his leather jacket, he headed out.

A small sigh escaped Hermione as she went back to work. That man was entirely too sexy for his own good. Checking the time, she figured she had another few hours before Remus got home. _Plenty of time to make some chocolate sauce,_ she thought. Three-layered chocolate cake with home-made chocolate frosting, topped with melted chocolate sauce. She giggled to herself. Maybe, just maybe, that would sate Remus' chocoholic tendencies for the evening.

What she didn't know was that Remus had decided to leave work early that day. It was his birthday, after all, and if he had to listen to one more lousy joke about a magical creature being the new Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, he though he might shove Kinglsey's appointment right back in his face. Remus enjoyed his job, but being the Head of any department had it's head _aches_ , and he was over it for today.

* * *

 

Flooing into the sitting room, Remus went straight for the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a generous amount of Sirius' firewhiskey and downing half the glass before recognizing the scent of chocolate. Cocking his head to the side, he also heard the sound of classic rock being played in the kitchen.

_She better not be making something for my birthday,_ he thought, then set his glass on the cabinet and went to investigate. Walking down the hall, he identified the album as _Smokin'_ by Humble Pie. Laughing at the absurdity of Hermione Granger listening to Humble Pie, he came to a stop in the kitchen doorway. Not only was Hermione listening to the music, she was dancing to it as well. Completely inside her own little world, she bounced up and down and nodded her head to the beat. Remus clapped a hand over his mouth to cover the snort that escaped.

It really was one of the funniest things he'd ever seen in his life, and it more than made up for the crappy day he'd had at work, but it was not to last. Spinning around, Hermione caught sight of him in the doorway and shrieked, jumping so violently that the contents of the mixing bowl she was holding went all over her, covering her red tank top with smooth, creamy melted chocolate that was clearly meant for the large cake sitting on the countertop.

"Remus!" she cried in horror at the werewolf who was clinging to the doorframe in an attempt to not end up on the floor while he howled with laughter.

"I'm... _gasp_... sorry! Hahaha!" he forced out in between guffaws.

"Oohhh, you arse! What are you doing home anyway!" she shouted.

"I... er... ahem, I had a bad day," he said when finally under control. "So I thought I'd take the rest of the afternoon off and relax." He looked at her and grinned. "I didn't expect to find you covering yourself in chocolate. What did you do that for, anyway?" he asked, his inner Marauder showing itself.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. All the hard work she'd done for him today and... ugh! Smirking, she dipped her fingers in the bowl and, before he figured out what she was going to do, thew some of the chocolate sauce at him, splattering his robes and face. Remus froze in shock. He looked down at his soiled robes, then back up at her and growled.

"Why you cheeky little... give me that bowl!"

"No," she cried, wrapping her arms around it and holding on while pouting at him.

Remus growled again and started towards her. Hermione flicked more chocolate at him, while taking a step back for every one he took forward until her back hit the counter. He didn't stop, though, but continued until she was pressed firmly against the counter.

"Give me that bowl," he repeated calmly.

"No."

Remus grabbed it and started wrestling it from her. She shrieked again and clung to it, but Remus was much stronger and it didn't take long before she lost. Successfully wrenching the bowl of chocolate sauce from her death-grip, Remus swung it far out of her reach, tossing it to the other end of the counter. She cried out and flailed, trying to get it back, but Remus grabbed both wrists and held them to her sides.

She continued to struggle, and he continued to hold her until she tossed her head back to yell at him and realized just how close he was. Her breath hitched as their eyes met, but he didn't move away like she expected him to. Instead, he looked a little shell-shocked, the blue in his eyes flashing slightly amber. Breaking eye contact, he looked her over. There was chocolate on her cheek and a drop slowly making it's way down her neck, and the lower he went, the more chocolate he found. Her tank top was fairly soaked with the sugary confection, and the tops of her breasts were smeared in it. The same breasts that were currently pressed against his chest.

"Was it good?" he rasped.

"Wha- what?" she breathed.

"The chocolate sauce," he explained. "Was it good?"

"Oh. Um, I hadn't had a chance to taste test it. You were home early," she accused.

He nodded, his eyes following that lone drop traveling down her slender neck. It had almost reached her shoulder when he decided to make his move. Ducking quickly, he ran his tongue up her neck, cleaning the sauce from her skin and groaning at the unique taste. He'd thought that chocolate tasted good by itself but now that he'd tasted chocolate-flavoured _Hermione_ , he knew better.

Hermione gasped when she felt his mouth on her neck and shuddered in delight. Oh, she'd had dreams like this. Wonderful dreams that had left her with a desperate need for a cold shower, since she never thought she'd convince him to give _this_ a try. Finally working her wrists out of his hold, she ran her hands up his arms to grab his shoulders as he licked her clean. Once he pulled away and she saw him lick his lips, it was over.

Roughly grabbing his head, she pulled him to her, crashing her lips against his and forcing her tongue inside. She felt hot all over, and the heat turned into a burn as Remus ran his hands up and down her sides. He pressed her even tighter against the counter-top and she could feel him beginning to harden. Suddenly wanton, she pushed against him, shivers going through her as he growled into her mouth.

Not giving himself the chance to talk himself out of this, Remus ran his hands up her sides again, this time taking her top with them and pulled it off her, tossing it carelessly behind him. His mouth immediately moved to her chest, running his tongue along the tops of her breasts and cleaning the chocolate from there as well. He moved lower, tracing the lace of her bra before taking the clothed nipple between his teeth and nipping gently.

"Remus! Oohhh," Hermione cried out and arched, pushing her chest into his face. Remus hooked his hands under her arse and lifted her, settling her on the counter, her legs going around his waist instinctively as they moved against each other. Unhooking her bra, he pulled the straps down her arms and off her body, then took a moment to admire her. She really was beautiful. Not flawless - scars littered her skin, proving her bravery and fearlessness, but not marring her. Nothing could ever mar her. She was perfection.

His hands dug into her waist as his lips closed around one breast, suckling her and making her moan. Her fingers threaded through his hair and pressed him closer while her body arched into him. Soon, she needed to feel skin as well, so her hands left his head and went to his shirt, undoing his buttons. Once he realized what she was doing, he stopped sucking her tit and faced her again.

"Hermione," he said, laying a hand over hers. "I - it's not pretty," he finished, grimacing.

Hermione stared at him for a moment, then took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. "You're a ridiculous man, Remus Lupin," she said, and went back to work on his shirt.

When she'd gotten the buttons undone, she pushed the garment off his shoulders and gazed at him. He didn't have a lot of hair on his chest, but he had enough. Scars covered most of the skin - long, thin, silvery lines criss-crossing his torso. The mark of the beast that lived inside him. This didn't frighten or disgust her, though. If anything, it turned her on even more. Remus was strong and brave, and the lines on his body proved it. Hermione ran her fingers along some of the scars, making him tremble at her delicate touch, then reached up and brought his head back to hers.

They kissed passionately, and Remus found himself needing more. Hitching her legs higher around his waist, he lifted her, turning them around and setting her down on the kitchen table. Leaning over her, he forced her to lay on the cold wood while grinding into her. Popping the button on her jeans, he lowered the zipper and snuck his hand inside, swallowing her gasp. Hermione unconsciously spread her legs wider for his searching fingers and arched as they hit home. She moaned loudly as he moved her panties to the side and snuck one finger, then two inside of her.

He pumped her gently, relishing in how wet she was for him when something made him pause. "What?" she asked breathlessly, upset that he'd stopped. Remus cocked his head as though listening for something, then smirked.

"Nevermind," he said, resuming his task inside her jeans.

* * *

 

Stepping into the house, Sirius was immediately assaulted with the smell of chocolate. Chuckling to himself, he hung up his jacket and began walking to the kitchen to check on Hermione's progress when he heard it. A moan. A decidedly _feminine_ moan. _Hermione?,_ he thought, creeping slowly up to the doorway and peeking in. Sure as shit, there was Hermione Granger, half-naked and spread out on his kitchen table like a human sacrifice, her perfect - _chocolate smeared?_ \- breasts on display, while Remus Lupin hovered over her with his hand down her pants.

_Fuck! When did this happen?_ he wondered, unable to tear his eyes away from the moaning witch. He was so wrapped up in Hermione, he almost missed Remus cock his head in his direction, signaling that he'd been sensed. Realizing that he actually didn't care if Remus called him out on his voyeurism or not, Sirius - almost unconsciously - began rubbing himself through his jeans.

He watched Hermione cry out Remus' name as he brought her off with his fingers. He watched Remus remove his soaking digits from her jeans and clean them off with his mouth, savoring her taste. He watched Hermione wiggle her hips in invitation and Remus step out of the cradle of her thighs in order to divest her of her last layers of clothing. He watched the werewolf step towards her again as she went for his trousers, making short work of them. Once undone, they were unceremoniously shoved down to his thighs and Hermione quickly grasped his hard length.

Sirius couldn't contain his moan as he watched the witch that had plagued his dreams and fantasies for far too long work his best friend. He wasn't jealous of Remus, he simply wanted to be included. Unable to help himself, Sirius undid his own jeans and slid his hand inside, pulling out his own hard cock and pumping it, matching her pace on Remus.

He watched as Remus growled and leaned over, batting Hermione's small hand away from his flesh and took himself in hand, running the tip along her pretty, pink pussy, only giving in when Hermione raked her nails down his back and keened. With one swift, smooth movement, Remus buried himself to the hilt, throwing his head back and growling deep in his chest. He began to move, Hermione meeting him thrust for thrust and the sounds coming from the young beauty nearly did Sirius in. His hand was flying over his cock, his hips rocking in a desperate search for friction. Finally, he had to grip the doorframe and risk Hermione seeing him just to stay upright.

Then something caught his attention. Remus was talking.

"Ugh... Hermione... you sweet thing... ," he was saying, interspersed with gasps and grunts. "Tell me you like it... "

"I like it," she answered him instantly. "I like it, I like it... "

"Mmm... tell me... tell me what _else_ you'd like... "

"Remusss," she whined, unable to think coherently with him moving inside her.

"Tell me, Hermione... _mmmm_... talk to me... ," he insisted.

"I... I want... I don't know!"

"Oh, yes you do... am I... am I the only one... _ahhh_... in this house you want?"

Hermione's eyes snapped opened and she stared at Remus, but he kept going, never breaking rhythm as he drove her higher and higher. She looked for the anger, the resentment, the accusations she would expect to find if anyone else had asked her that question in this situation. There was none. Only the Remus she knew, the Remus she loved, the Remus she'd been getting herself off to for longer than she cared to admit, but he was right. He wasn't the only wizard in the house she'd thought about, dreamed about, wanted.

"Come on, Hermione... tell me," he repeated.

"I... I want... Sirius, too," she admitted.

" _Yes_ ," Remus answered indulgently, smiling at her as if she'd just given him the right answer in class then bringing a hand down to play with her clit.

Sirius couldn't take it anymore. The sight before him, the sounds she was making, the way she took Remus so well and then to hear her admit to wanting _him_ too... It was too much for the animagus and before he knew what he was doing, his feet had brought him into the room and were moving him towards Hermione. Her eyes fluttered open to look at the man inside her, but snapped to him when she noticed his presence.

Hermione had seen Sirius in many different situations over the years. She'd seen him half-crazed, angry, disillusioned. She'd seen him happy, laughing, playful. She'd seen him serious, protective, caring - but she'd never seen him beside himself with lust. The raw, animalistic, _untamed_ look in his steel-grey eyes was totally new to her and the thought that _she_ was the reason for it gave her a unexpected ego boost.

The two men shared a look, but no words were spoken. Remus continued to work her body on his cock and Sirius matched the rhythm with his hand. Deciding against over-thinking the situation, Hermione reached out towards Sirius who cocked an eyebrow at her. He moved closer and allowed her to take over, wrapping his fingers around hers and directing her hand. Soon she wanted more, though, so she raised herself onto one elbow and tugged on Sirius' cock, binging him closer so she could wrap her lips around him.

Sirius' growl at this action was echoed by Remus who was watching. Sirius cursed as he watched his cock disappear beyond her pretty, swollen lips and reached into her hair, grabbing handfuls of curls to hold onto. He began to thrust gently into her mouth as she sucked and pumped, nearly mindless at the situation. It had been a long, long time since Sirius had been involved in a threesome and there was just something about _this_ combination that was making him harder than he'd ever been. Perhaps it was his emotional attachment to both of them. He certainly wasn't attracted to Remus, but he couldn't deny watching him fuck Hermione senseless was a massive turn-on. Add to that the fantasy of Hermione's smart mouth being used in such a filthy way...

Remus heard Sirius moan and shivers went through him. Like Sirius, Remus was not physically attracted to the other man, but watching Hermione swallow him repeatedly was doing interesting things to him. He was so close. He needed her to come with him. Rubbing her clit quickly, he watched her face screw up in anticipation, then felt her begin to tighten around him.

Hermione came spectacularly, strangling his cock and forcing his own completion. She cried out around Sirius and thrashed, bucking her hips and nearly throwing herself off the table in her passion. Remus threw his head back with a shout, emptying himself inside her. He collapsed on top of her, panting heavily, then lifted himself and pulled out reluctantly, falling into the nearest chair.

Hermione's legs fell limply over the side of the table, and Remus could see the wet spot just underneath her cunt, which was still on display. The sight sent a jolt of desire through him as he watched Sirius free a hand from her hair and run it down her body, pinching her nipples and making her squeal as he went, then settle between her legs. He didn't want to give up her mouth, but he did want to hear her scream again, so he rubbed her clit briefly, making her body twitch, then roughly shoved three fingers deep into her.

"Oh, fuck yes!" she cried out, briefly tearing her mouth away from Sirius' cock to shout. Her hips rocked as well as the raven-haired animagus pumped his fingers in and out of her. She was still sensitive from her second orgasm, and Sirius dug deep inside her to find that magical spot. When she squeaked and bucked, he knew he'd succeeded and the snarl he gave was feral. Ramming his fingers in at just the right angle, he moved his hand hard and fast, needing to feel her clench around his digits. Her legs began thrashing, so Remus grabbed her ankles and held her steady as she started shaking.

Her body arched as she fell off the precipice, her legs shook violently and one hand grabbed Sirius' wrist as the other tightened around his cock, making him shout and swear. Hermione gave a cry as she came all over Sirius' hand, coating it with _her_. When she relaxed, he removed his fingers from her and lifted them to his mouth, carefully cleaning them off and groaning at the taste of her, making a mental note to investigate that further next time.

Hermione watched him suck her own juices off his hand and decide it was time to get back to work. Raising herself onto her elbows once again, she resumed her treatment of his cock, taking him back into her mouth with a renewed purpose. She had come three times now, and he hadn't come once. That simply wasn't fair, so she sucked him hard while reaching down with one hand to play with his balls. It didn't take long.

"Fuck! Hermione!" Sirius shouted, his head thrown back in ecstasy. "I'm gonna... I'm gonna come!"

Hermione's response was to suck harder as his fingers tightened in her curls. Finally, she took him as far down as she could in their awkward position, tugged firmly on his balls and that was it. Sirius seized up, his mouth open in a silent scream as he shot his load down her throat. With one last shudder, he pulled away and collapsed onto a chair, cock still out and glistening as it softened. Hermione licked her lips, making sure to get every bit of Sirius' essence and laid back on the table, sated.

"Fucking hell, Hermione," Sirius said, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" she answered, her voice hoarse as she turned her head to look at him.

"I've tried so hard to be good around you, kitten," he lamented. "I really have... but to come home and find you spread out on my kitchen table smeared with chocolate sauce and Moony sucking your tits... fucking hell," he repeated, running a hand through his hair.

Hermione bit her lip. "Do you regret it?" she asked quietly.

"No," came two growls. Remus and Sirius were both looking at her possessively.

"Hermione," Remus began, "I think I speak for the both of us when I say that we have wanted to do that for a while now."

Sirius nodded. "Abso-fucking-lutely," he agreed. "The _real_ question, kitten, is if you want one of us... or both of us."

"Right," said Remus. "Although you should know that neither of us are particularly good losers."

Hermione thought for a minute. "So, basically, what you're telling me is we either do this together or we pretend this never happened and go back to the way things were."

"Right."

She nodded. "Well, in that case - I'll have to go with both."

"Really?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," she said, looking him in the eye. He smirked at her.

"I've made quite a mess down here," he said, trailing his fingers through the hair between her legs. She _was_ quite sticky. "Perhaps I should clean it up."

"Not a chance, Padfoot," came Remus' voice, his hands on her ankles, already moving her legs over his shoulders. "It's _my_ birthday - _I_ get the frosting."


	2. And Eat It Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Part two is finally here! Gift for SableUnstable! I hadn't planned on continuing this, but I honestly couldn't leave the phrase unfinished. 'To have your cake... and eat it, too.' I know how pathetically anal-retentive that sounds, but it's as good an excuse as any to write more smut, so... ;) Many thanks to SableUnstable, who refused to allow me to abandon this!
> 
> Thanks, Worthfull1
> 
> P.S. I own nothing, anything recognizable belongs to the lovely Ms. Rowling.

**... And Eat It, Too**

_"I've made quite a mess down here," he said, trailing his fingers through the hair between her legs. "Perhaps I should clean it up."_

_"Not a chance, Padfoot," came Remus' voice, his hands on her ankles, already moving her legs over his shoulders. "It's my birthday - I get the frosting," he said, running his tongue along her leg, higher... and higher..._

_"Wait," Hermione said suddenly and he froze. "May I make a request?" she asked. The two wizards cocked eyebrows at her._

_"Choose wisely, kitten," Sirius said. "It may be the last one you get tonight."_

_Remus felt a shiver go through her at the sound of the animagus' voice. "What is it you desire, Hermione?" he asked, bringing her attention back to him._

_"Could we move to a bed?" she requested, biting her lower lip. "This table is getting hard." Both men groaned._

_"That's not the only thing getting hard, kitten," Sirius growled and, sure enough, his cock was already at half-mast again as if he hadn't come just minutes before._

_Hermione whimpered, the sound shooting straight to Remus' groin. "I think a bed is an excellent idea," he said, moving her legs off his shoulders and standing. Replacing her legs around his waist, he reached out to her, gathering her up as she slung her arms around him and rested her head in the crook of his neck._

* * *

 

The events of the previous night replayed in Remus' mind as he and Sirius lay on either side of their witch early the next morning and watched her sleep. They had, in fact, taken her to bed last night. Remus' bed, to be exact. It was his birthday, after all. They had taken her to bed and proceeded to smear the rest of the chocolate sauce Sirius had been inspired to bring all over her delectable body and lick her clean. Then she had taken turns riding each of them until they were reduced to begging, quivering masses beneath her and when they were all completely spent they had curled up against each other and fallen asleep, a tangle of arms and legs.

Looking her over, Remus couldn't help but let a self-satisfied smirk spread across his face. There were numerous bite marks and finger-sized bruises all over Hermione's body, from her neck to her ankles and several places in between. He wasn't arrogant enough to think that he'd caused _all_ of those marks - Sirius was a biter as well - but it gave him a thrill to know that she bore his work, however temporary the love bites were.

As they watched, she stirred. Hermione's face scrunched up adorably as she came out of dreamland and she stretched, reaching both arms out, then retracting them just as quickly when they both came into contact with hard, hairy chests. Her eyes flew open and she bolted upright, reaching for the sheet to cover herself before remembering where she was and who she was with. Sighing heavily, she blushed, the colour staining not only her cheeks, but her chest as well.

Sirius chuckled. "Morning, love," he said with a grin. __

Hermione rested back on her elbows and turned her head to Sirius. "Good morning," she said, leaning over to kiss him. "And good morning," she repeated, turning the other way to kiss Remus.

"How do you feel?" Remus asked her.

"Mmmm," she purred, laying back and reaching out again, her hands traveling over the men's chests, then heading south to ghost over their morning erections. "Well rested," she said suggestively, giving them both a squeeze.

They groaned in unison and pounced on her, each man grabbing a breast and latching themselves to the side of her neck. Hermione whimpered and arched, the sound going straight to their cocks. Sirius and Remus began mindlessly rocking their hips into her hands, quickly becoming desperate for friction and she responded by canting her hips towards them, her desire clear.

Sirius let the hand massaging her breast travel down her body to her sex to find her already wet. He slipped two fingers in and felt her clench around them. "Is this what you want, Hermione?" he asked. "Do you want my fingers?"

"Not just your fingers," she answered breathily.

"What else?"

Hermione turned her head to face him, her face flushed and her pupils blown. "I want you to fuck me while I suck Remus off," she said, making the men release matching growls.

"Your wish - " Sirius began, removing his fingers from her cunt and grabbing her hip.

" - our command," Remus finished, kissing her once before moving away enough for her to move into position.

Hermione rolled over and got to her knees, clambering between Remus' thighs and bending over, wrapping one hand around his straining erection and bringing her mouth almost to it. He was longer than Sirius, but not quite as thick and Hermione got even wetter as she remembered what it felt like to have him inside her. The thought didn't last, though, as she felt Sirius move into position behind her, running his hands over her back and hips, gripping her arse hard, then bending over to run his lips over the abused flesh.

"Well, go on, love," Sirius said huskily, holding himself just out of reach. Hermione could feel his hardness pressed against her arse, but it was clear he was waiting for her to go down on Remus first. So she did. Bending over further, she wrapped her lips around the head of his cock and sucked gently. As Remus groaned out his pleasure, Sirius rewarded Hermione. Taking her by the hips, he lined himself up and drove into her hard, making her squeal around Remus' cock and causing Remus to swear fouly before grabbing handfuls of Hermione's curls in order to guide her head.

Moans, groans, growls and swears filled the air as they fell into a push-and-pull rhythm with Hermione sandwiched in the middle. Each time Sirius thrust into her, Hermione would be shoved further onto Remus' cock which, in turn, would make Remus moan and buck. He hadn't had the pleasure of her mouth the previous night and so he was completely unprepared for the carnal joy she was giving him. Way too soon, it became too much for him.

"Hermione... _mmm_... I'm gonna come... _ahhh_...," he managed, trying to warn her so she could move if she wanted to. Hermione responded by sucking harder and pumping faster, wanting his release. "Hermione... _uunngghh_!" Remus cried out as he came, one hand fisted in her hair and the other reaching above his head to grip the headboard as he bucked.

Hermione sucked him dry before letting go with a _pop_ , her flushed face showing him just how close she was. Remus laid back and watched his best friend fuck their girl. Never before had Remus thought he would be into voyeurism, but the sight in front of him was undeniably erotic and, for the first time since he was a boy, he was grateful for his birthday. Remus stroked Hermione's hair as she rested her head on his stomach, his spent cock laying just next to her chin as Sirius knelt behind her, guiding her hips at his own pace.

The tattooed animagus saw Hermione getting comfortable and decided that he couldn't have that, so he ran one hand slowly up her back and the other around her hips, giving no indication of what he was about to do, then grabbed her hair and hauled her up into his lap, their bodies still connected. Hermione cried out in shock and arousal at being handled that way and Sirius growled at her.

"Can't have you getting too comfortable, kitten," he hissed in her ear, biting down on the lobe. Hermione whined and looked at Remus, who merely grinned at her, enjoying the show.

From that position, it was nearly impossible to thrust, but Sirius gave it a go anyway, the hand at her waist dropping to her cunt to play with her clit. Wanting to show her just how crazy she made him, Sirius took a firm hold of her hair and wrenched her head back, baring her throat to him. Latching his mouth to her neck, he licked and nibbled and sucked, finishing the mark he'd started earlier. Hermione struggled against his hold, her body bucking uncontrollably and her hands clawing at his thighs, but it wasn't out of fear. She was loving this and both men could tell, their canine senses alerting them to exactly what she liked.

"So beautiful," Remus said, sitting up. Hermione moaned and clenched around Sirius.

"Shit!" Sirius swore. "Keep talking, Moony. She likes it."

"Is that true, Hermione?" Remus asked, shuffling just a bit closer. His eyes met her heavy-lidded chocolate pools and she nodded shakily. "Do you have any idea how much I'm enjoying watching Sirius fuck you?" She whimpered. "You're so gorgeous, all flushed and aroused. We can smell you, you know. We know how much you're liking this."

"He's right," Sirius added. "I'm going to be smelling your cunt for days."

Hermione was panting, now, desperate for release. "Re... mus... touch... me," she said. "Please."

"Touch you?" he repeated, reaching up and tracing her mouth with a finger. "Where, darling?" All she managed was a moan, so he experimented. "Here?" he asked, moving his hand from her lips down her neck. "Or here?" His hand traveled slowly down to a breast.

"There," Sirius grunted as Hermione clenched around him again.

"Ah," Remus said, tracing a nipple then twisting it savagely.

Hermione broke. She screamed and thrashed, her vision going blurry as her body quaked. Her fingers clawed at anything she could reach and her cunt clamped down so tightly around Sirius that his body let go as well. He bit her neck again as he released inside her, triggering a second orgasm from her. Their bodies shook together and, when it was all over, Hermione fell forward into Remus' arms, limp as a ragdoll.

He caught her with a chuckle and lay back, bringing her with him, letting her sweaty, spent body relax on his chest. Sirius collapsed next to them, panting and swearing, fairly certain that he'd never come so hard before in his life and positive that he'd never be able to give her up now. Remus had also come to that conclusion, but he had absolutely no idea how to broach the subject. Luckily, Hermione saved him the trouble.

"What are we doing here?" she asked when her heart rate had gone back to normal. She raised her head and looked at Remus, propping her chin on his chest.

"Honestly? I'm not sure," he answered, looking into her eyes. "But... it feels right." He reached up to stroke her wild curls.

"Yes, it does," Sirius agreed from behind her. Hermione turned her head to face her other lover. "I'm... not sure I could give you up now, kitten. I know I don't want to." He raised his hand and stroked her face.

"I love you," Hermione said quietly, taking them both by surprise. She looked at Remus. "I love you, too," she told him. "I love you both, I - I have for a while, I think. I don't want to give either of you up."

"I love you, too," Remus whispered, making her smile.

Sirius rolled onto his side to face them. "I love you, too," he told Hermione, caressing her cheek again.

Hermione's happy expression quickly turned into embarrassment as her stomach growled, making her men chuckle.

"Hungry?" Remus asked. She nodded. "I suppose we didn't actually have supper last night, did we?"

The three put on just enough clothes to avoid being indecent and went down to the kitchen in search of sustenance. Shagging all night and into the morning was apparently a rigorous workout and all three of them spent the entire breakfast popping joints and stretching muscles as discreetly as possible to avoid the others thinking they weren't up to another round later.

Remus owled work and begged off for the day and since Hermione worked in research from home, she could make her own hours, and decided that a break was in order. Sirius, of course, was content to live off his large inheritance and not bother about having an actual job, choosing instead to simply donate large sums of the Black family wealth to anybody that would make his mother scream.

After breakfast, Hermione announced that she was taking a shower. "Stay," she said warningly, as Sirius and Remus both moved to follow her. "I said _I'm_ having a shower. Not _we're_ having a shower. We'll put it on the to-do list, but right now I'm stinky, sticky and sore and I need a few minutes to myself." She kissed away the pouts from each canine's face and disappeared back upstairs.

Silence descended on the kitchen.

"Moony?" Sirius said after a while.

"Hmm?"

"You okay with this?"

Remus took a deep breath. "Honestly? I'm still a bit shell-shocked. But it works, don't you think?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, I do. I mean, we've known each other almost thirty years, now. We've shared everything _but_ a woman... "

"Yeah. And it's not like we've never seen each other naked before." That was true. Between sharing a dorm as schoolboys, spending the full moons together and various emergency healing that needed to been done either from battle or the wolf or Sirius being on the run, the two men knew each other's bodies nearly as well as their own. It was just a fact.

Silence fell between them again.

"No offense, Pads, but I'm not interested in fucking you," Remus said, trying to avoid being crude, but finding no way around it. He joined in as Sirius laughed.

"Good, because I'm not taking it up the arse for anybody," Sirius replied, chuckling. "And I doubt _Moony_ would allow anything as submissive as _being_ fucked. I don't want to think about how that might end. I like my bollocks where they are, thanks."

The two men laughed.

"Well, not that that's settled," Sirius said, summoning parchment and a quill. "Let's get to work on that to-do list she mentioned," he said, taking the quill and starting off with _Shower Sex_.

* * *

 

Hermione massaged shampoo into her hair as the hot water pounded down on her, easing her sore body. She thought back over the past several hours of her life and couldn't help but grin at herself. She remembered walking into the compartment on the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of their third year and shushing the boys when she noticed the sleeping man in the corner. The nameplate on his suitcase had told her who he was and her natural respect and admiration for educators had morphed quickly into awe when the 'sleeping' man sprang to attention in battle stance to repel the Dementors searching for the madman Sirius Black.

From there, it was a short jump to a full-blown schoolgirl crush on the young professor with the kind smile and soft eyes. The man was knowledgeable, humble, easy-going and well-read, and it didn't hurt that he was tall, broad-shouldered and in perpetual need of a haircut. Fourteen-year-old Hermione had scolded herself on more than one occasion for losing track of the lesson because she was distracted by Professor Lupin pushing back a lock of greying sandy-brown hair that had fallen into his blue eyes once again.

With Sirius, it was different. She'd spent the better part of a year being terrified of him and within the space of an hour, terror had been replaced with horror, then sorrow, indignation and finally a strange desire to heal and nurture. Something about Sirius had made Hermione desperately want to take care of him, clean him up, feed him and give him a place to stay. During their entire fourth year, she'd felt a strong protective urge towards him, but that changed the summer before fifth year when they all moved into Grimmauld Place.

Sirius had been bitter, surly, rude and worst of all, cruel to Kreacher. There was a lot Hermione didn't like about him at this point in time, but that didn't stop her from noticing the change in his appearance. His hair was shorter, now hanging just to his shoulders unlike that night in the shack, where it had been down to his elbows. He was clean and wearing clothes that fit, the beard was gone - replaced with a goatee - and a steady diet of Molly Weasley's food had filled him out some. His cheeks were no longer sunken and his skin no longer waxy. He was far from healthy, but it was a vast improvement and the two young witches in the house were not immune.

Hermione and Ginny used to sit in their room late at night and giggle quietly about the two handsome men in the house. Ginny knew about Hermione's crush on Remus (which had never really gone away) and Hermione knew that something about the tattooed fugitive got Ginny hot and bothered. Between the two of them, they'd come up with enough ridiculous romantic fantasy scenarios to fill an entire series of paperback novels and it took a real effort not to blush the next morning at breakfast when one of the men said good morning.

The crushes evolved over time, but never really went away. Hermione still caught Ginny on occasion giving Sirius the once over and she knew she stared at both men more than strictly necessary, but she felt she could be forgiven. After all, the remaining Marauders were very sexy. Sirius had turned forty the previous fall (and had made an almighty fuss about it), but he still had the power to stop traffic when he ventured into London. Now Remus had caught up to him, but whereas Sirius was effortlessly and obviously sexy, the 'quiet' Marauder had a more understated appeal. The same traits that drew Hermione in as a schoolgirl to them both were still there, but now that she was a woman, she had a whole new perspective.

Yes, Sirius was an incredibly well-built man, but now she could recognize the power behind the pretty muscles she used to drool over. When she was a kid, Sirius looked handsome, now he looked like the sort of man who was perfectly capable of holding you up while he fucked you against the wall. And yes, Remus had a wonderfully calming voice, but now Hermione fantasized about him talking dirty to her while pumping his long, lovely fingers into her cunt until she came again and again and again...

Hermione bit her lip as she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. She'd elected to take a shower alone so as to calm herself down, not get worked up again. She wasn't sure her body could handle any more today, but that didn't stop her from wanting to try. One look at Sirius and Remus sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast shirtless and she started making a mental list of things they hadn't tried yet. Perhaps after another cup of tea and maybe a muscle relaxing potion.

After toweling off and putting on lotion, Hermione pulled on her not-so-sexy-but-definitely-the-most-comfortable-thing-she'd-ever-owned sweatclothes and exited her room. She ran into Sirius in the hallway and he wasted no time in backing her into the wall. Bracing his hands on either side of her head, he leaned down. Hermione closed her eyes in anticipation of his kiss, but opened them again when none came. She cocked her head at him and he smirked, then ducked quickly and licked a stripe up her neck, following her pulse point. Hermione sighed and melted into him only to feel him pull away.

"Now _I'm_ going for a shower," he said, winking at her and turning on the spot. He marched right into his room and shut the door, leaving Hermione stunned and aroused.

_Bastard!_

Hermione huffed, then continued downstairs to see if the other man now in her life was in a mood to be aggravating as well. Finding no Remus in the kitchen, she headed to the library where there was six-feet-two-inches of werewolf just sitting down with an enormous piece of chocolate cake on a plate and a tall glass of milk on the coffee table in front of him. He looked up just before his backside made contact with the sofa and Hermione snorted at his expression. It was a cross between a little boy who'd gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar and a grown man who thought he might need to defend his territory.

"I made that cake for you, Remus," she teased. "If anyone has the right to have an indecently sized piece, it's you."

"Share it with me," he said, sitting down fully and turning his body so she could cuddle into his side. She walked over and made herself comfortable, with her back pressed into him and his arm around her shoulder. Taking the fork from the plate, she took a bite of cake and let out a moan.

"How was your shower?" he asked, accepting a forkful of cake from her.

"Mmm, wonderful," she said. "Hot and relaxing. How was yours?" she asked, noting his wet hair and clean scent.

"Nice," he said, "but lonely. It would have been better shared with you."

"Most things are," she replied cheekily. He pinched her shoulder and she squirmed, making him laugh quietly. In their position, his mouth was close to her ear and she shivered. He caught it and kissed her neck softly, sweetly. Hermione turned her head and their mouths met, lips sliding slowly together. The urgency from the previous night and earlier that morning was gone, replaced by a desire to explore and memorize.

"Starting without me?" came Sirius' voice a few minutes later. Remus and Hermione broke apart unhurriedly to see the animagus leaning against the doorway and smirking at them.

"Of course not," Remus replied, knowing that Sirius' light tone belied a much deeper insecurity. Sirius had few insecurities, but the biggest by far was being left out by the people who told him they loved him. He would never admit to it, but Remus knew how important it was to Sirius to be kept in the thick of things. Sirius looked at it as an issue of trust, and trust was a big deal to him. Understandably, in Remus' opinion.

"Want some cake?" Hermione asked, offering a full fork to Sirius. He pushed himself off the doorway and came to sit next to her, opening his mouth and allowing her to feed him the cake while keeping his eyes on her the entire time.

"Pretty good," he admitted, "but nothing compares with chocolate covered you."

"I'll agree with Messer Padfoot on that statement," Remus rumbled behind her.

"Thank you, Messer Moony."

"Oh, Merlin," Hermione laughed. "I'm really in for it, aren't I?" She looked from one Marauder to the other, each with impressive - and clearly well-practiced - innocent faces.

"Actually, kitten, I think _we're_ the ones who will be getting _in_. Wouldn't you say, Messer Moony?"

"Oh, yes, I think so, Messer Padfoot," Remus said seriously.

Hermione felt as though she were watching a tennis match, her head whipping back and forth between the two. One thing was sure, however - the longer they talked, the wetter she got. Their voices were casual and the content was fairly tame for dirty talk, but that didn't stop her brain from filling in the blanks. Apparently, their canine senses picked up on this, as she saw both sets of eyes darken. Sirius placed his hand on her knee, sliding it ever so slowly up her thigh as Remus left a wet kiss on one of the many hickeys on her neck, then blew softly on the damp skin. Her flesh broke out in goosebumps, but she shook her head.

"No," she said, stopping them both. "I really am sore. I'm sorry," she added.

"For what?" Sirius asked, turning his sensual caress of her thigh into a soothing rub. "We don't just want you in bed, Hermione."

"Of course not," Remus agreed. "And we would never press you when your body is worn out. Everyone needs a rest sometimes. We were insensitive to start."

She bit her lip. "Can we just... stay like this for a while? Have a lazy day?"

"As long as it involves cuddling with you, I'm fine with that," Sirius said, taking out his wand and elongating the sofa, then laying down with his head on her lap, dog-like.

Remus then pulled out his wand and turned the sofa into an enormous bed so he could stretch his long legs out and leaned back into the cushions, drawing Hermione back against his chest and wrapping his arms around her middle. She nestled her head into the crook of his shoulder and ran her fingers through Sirius' hair as they all settled in for a nap.

"We'll rest for a while, then if you're feeling up to it, we can get to work on our list," Sirius said.

"What list?" Hermione asked.

"Our to-do list," Remus answered.

Hermione turned her head to frown at Remus, but he had his eyes closed. She looked down at her lap and saw Sirius smirking deviously up at her.

"We did as you asked earlier, and put shower sex on the to-do list," he explained, his smirk growing as her eyes widened, "and then we may have added to it."

_Oh, Merlin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I really can't apologize enough for taking this long to finish this two-shot that was supposed to be a one-shot. There is no good excuse, so I won't offer one, but I hope this makes up for it ;) This is the end, though. Thanks so much to everyone who stuck with me and for those who weren't aware of a second chapter being written - surprise! Lol
> 
> Thanks, Worthfull1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Phew! I think I need a cigarette ;) Perhaps we should have another category for stories like this... what about 'Sirimionus'? Thoughts? Also, I am working on a part two for this called '... And Eat It Too'. Will post that as soon as it's done.
> 
> Thanks, Worthfull1


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